Monologues for You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown
CHARACTERS
Charlie Brown: (Baritone/Tenor) Genial, humble but vulnerable
Lucy: (Mezzo/Alto Belt) Strongwilled, overbearing, brutally honest
Schroeder: (High Baritone/Tenor) Intelligent, passionate about music
Linus: (Baritone/Tenor) Lucy’s younger brother, extremely sensitive, bright, and warm
Sally Brown: (Soprano/Mezzo Belt) Charlie’s little sister, energetic, opinionated, sassy
Snoopy: (Tenor/Baritone) Wisecracking, cheerful, imaginative
SALLY
A ‘C’? A ‘C’? I got a ‘C’ on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a ‘C’ in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my ‘C’? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made…now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coathangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my ‘C’?
CHARLIE BROWN
“ think lunchtime is about the worst time of the day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes mornings aren’t so pleasing, either…waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then, there’s the night, too – lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I’ve done during the day. And all those hours in between – when I do all those stupid things … Well, lunchtime is among the worst times for me. Well, I guessI better see what I got. (He opens bag, unwraps a sandwich, and looks inside.) Peanut Butter. (He bites and chews.) Some psychiatrists say people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely. I guess they’re right. And if you’re really right the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. (He munches quietly, idly fingering the bench.) Boy the PTA did a good job of painting these benches. (He looks off to one side.) There’s that cute little redheaded girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she’d do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her. She’d probably laugh right in my face. It’s hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There’s an empty place next to her on the bench. There’s no reason why I couldn’t just go over there and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up. (He stands.) I’m standing up. (He sits.) I’m sitting down. I’m a coward. I’m so much a coward she wouldn’t even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can’t remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn’t she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn’t look at me? IS she so great and I’m so small that she couldn’t spare one little moment just to…(He freezes.) She’s looking at me. (In terror, he looks one way, then another.) She’s looking at me. (His head looks all around frantically trying to find something to notice.)
SNOOPY (on top of doghouse)
Here’s the World One I flying ace high over France in his Sopwith Camel, searching for the infamous Red Baron! I must bring him down! Suddenly, anti-aircraft fire, ‘archie’ we used to called it, begins to burst beneath my plane. The Red Baron has spotted me. Nyahh, Nyahh, Nyahh! You can’t hit me! (aside) Actually, tough flying aces never say ‘Nyahh, Nyahh, Nyahh’. I just, ah…Drat this fog! It’s bad enough having to fight the Red Baron without having to fly in weather like this! All right, Red Baron! Where are you? You can’t hide forever! Ah, the sun has broken through…I can see the woods of Montsec below…and what’s that? It’s a Fokker triplane! Ha! I’ve got you this time, Red Baron! (SFX: machine gun fire) Aaugh! He’s diving down out of the sun! He’s tricked me again! I’ve got to run! Come on Sopwith Camel, let’s go! Go, Camel, go! I can’t shake him! He’s riddling my plane with bullets! (SFX: machine gun fire) Curse you, Red Baron! Curse you and your kind! Curse the evil that causes all this unhappiness! (SFX: plane engine sputtering towards silence) Here’s the World War I flying ace back at the aerodrome in France, he is exhausted and yet he does not sleep, for one thought continues to burn in his mind…Someday, someday I’ll get you, Red Baron!
SCHROEDER
I’m sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it’s true. You’re a very crabby person. I know your crabbiness has probably become so natural to you now that you’re not even aware when you’re being crabby, but it’s true just the same. You’re a very crabby person and you’re crabby to just about everyone you meet. Now I hope you don’t mind my saying this, Lucy, and I hope you’re take it in the spirit that it’s meant. I think we should be very open to any opportunity to learn more about ourselves. I think Socrates was very right when he said that one of the first rules for anyone in life is ‘Know Thyself’. Well, I guess I’ve said about enough. I hope I haven’t offended you or anything.
LUCY
Now Linus, I want you to take a good look at Charlie Brown’s face. Would you please hold still a minute, Charlie Brown, I want Linus to study your face. Now, this is what you call a Failure Face, Linus. Notice how it has failure written all over it. Study it carefully, Linus. You rarely see such a good example. Notice the deep lines, the dull, vacant look in the eyes. Yes, I would say this is one of the finest examples of a Failure Face that you’re liable to see for a long while.
LINUS
Apparently you haven’t read the latest scientific reports. A blanket is as important to a child as a hobby is ton an adult. Many a man spends his time restoring antique automobiles or building model trains or collecting old telephones or even tudying about the Civil War. this is called playing with the past.
Lucy:Really?
Certainly. And this is good for it helps these men to cope with their everyday problems. Now, I feel that it is going to be absolutely necessary for me to get my blanket back so I’m just going to give it a good yank!! (pull blanket away from Lucy) It’s suprising what you can accomplish with a little smooth talking and some fast action.